Then Things Changed...

It was crazy, by far the easiest labor iv ever had. Really it was nothing! Had Raiden LaRoy at 9:33am on Monday October 25 2010. The epidural that i received was to high so i still couldn't feel my legs, but other than that i was feeling great! I had to share a room for the first time, and id have to say id rather not do that again. A couple hours after he was born we tried to see if he would breast feed. And he was a champ at it!! I never breast feed my other two so this was not only a new experience for me but it felt so good having that close connection to him. That first 24-32 hours were great.Well besides having to make sure that the other persons' guest didnt see me whip out by breast to feed the baby. At 8pm my nurse came in to check on us and noticed that raiden was breathing a bit fast. She said she was going to go have him looked at (just in case). When she came back in the room with out him i knew something was wrong and started tearing up. She said that she hoped it wasnt what she thought it was but was having the dr staff to take a look at him. A hour or so later his cardiologist came in the room to talk to mark and i. He let us know that raiden had high acid levels in his blood and needed to do more test to confirm his suspicions about what was wrong with raiden. Mark went home to shower (and break down) and came back around 1am. I laid there crying not knowing what was going to happen to my child, the cardiologist just told us that there was a good chance that our son was going to die. I tried my damndest not to sob to loud cuz there was still a person in the bed next to me and it was 10:30pm at that point. At 11pm they wheeled raiden into my room in the mobile incubator. They were taking him to UC Davis where the top Pediatric Cardiac Surgeons are in our area. They asked if i wanted to hold his hand before they took him and i did, but honestly i was so afraid of touching him. Once he was gone, again i cried. Iv never in my life cried as hard as i did that night. Nurses kept coming in the room checking on me and making sure that i was ok. All i wanted to do was go to sleep, i knew there was nothing i could do, nor could i follow him to the hospital that night. I started to drift into sleep when yet another nurse came into the room. She started praying with me (more her than me i has half asleep and didnt have the strength to tell her to get out of my room). Looking back on it now i laugh but seriously the woman was laying up on me telling me i was so strong. CREEPY!!! I know she had good intentions but come on!! After she left i tried going back to sleep..mind you i had been up since 5am and by that time it was close to 1am. When mark made it back i was finally able to get sleep, after many times my nurse told me to go to sleep, he made sure that they didnt bother me so that i could get sleep. I was so glad to get out of the hospital so that we could go to UC Davis to see our son.