The first time...

The first time we found out i was pregnant we were extactic. A 3rd child and the first for my husband then Fiancée. But it was at 7 weeks that my dr told me of her concerns about the pregnancy. She couldnt find a heartbeat. She said that it wasnt to worry, it can be hard to find that early. At 9 weeks she gave me the news that she believed that i had a blighted ovum, and that is the reason she couldnt find a heart beat. That night i told my husband the news.. He was upset but kept high spirits for me and my other two children. At 10 weeks the dr prepared me for the possibility again, and told me what to do if i miscarried. That saturday on the day of 11 weeks i miscarried. I have never been threw that kind of physical pain before. My kids were so excited that they were going to have another brother or sister, and it pained me to tell them that they werent. And at the age of 4 and 5 they really didnt understand that i wasnt pregnant anymore. I stayed in bed for 4 days. I couldnt move, couldnt take care of the kids, couldnt function. It was to hard to deal with and i didnt know how to cope with it. We agreeded that it was a sign that maybe then wasnt a good time to have a baby, we only had one income and were struggling as it was.