Resolutions, no I'm not doing resolutions. I am however going to be healthier for my kids, I'm going to teach them to be healthy too. I'm going to do a family project with the kids once a month. I'm going to be a better mom, more attentive to their needs, more organized.
I must learn to wrangle my anxioty, people probly think I can't handle the kids. It's the world I can't handle, I can't stand leaving the house with all the kids alone. Not because I'm ashamed of my kids but of the fear that something might happen. Yes I know that anything can happen at anytime, but I'm learning to deal.
Anxioty is not fun, I over think everything, and when it comes to ray I'm crying once a week because I'm looking at old pictures of him and thinking of his upcoming surgery, I have to stop doing that. I'm trying to live in the moment. I'm loving every minute that I have with my kids, and with my husband.
So far iv gotten Wyatt to nurse at night only, and he is down to twice a night, very excited about that. Ray sleeps all night in his toddler bed, yes in our room but in HIS bed!!
Trying to stay strong for my dad, this last trip they were down really got to me. He is fading fast. I HATE that he has not only parkensins but also cancer. WHY did HE have to get sick? It runs in his family, but still. This past week the big kids stayed with them in the hotel. I'm glad that they know him and love him the way that they do. I hope that I'm strong enough to help them threw the rough times ahead.
2013 please be kind...
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Goodbye 2012
I'm happy that we were able to spend another year with our ray. Tho in November we got the news of his artery narrowing. We have yet to get the call back for his heart cath appointment, but until then ray has been good.
The happiest news of all, iv been 2012 free of pregnancy. I understand many may not understand our happiness about this, so let me clear it up. I was pregnant from 2009-2011. Yes we want more, in time so this year off was much appreciated!
2013 who knows what holds for us, but I'm determine to be healthier for myself and my children. Attending meetings on a more regular basis. I want to be more active with the kids outside of school. More crafts and lots of baking!
I'm excited to celebrate Marks and mines 3year wedding anniversary! 6 years in February we have been together! Hoping for many more years to come with him.
Looking forward to change but more so within, hoping to make better decisions for the family's better well being.
Goodbye 2012, HELLO 2013!!!
The happiest news of all, iv been 2012 free of pregnancy. I understand many may not understand our happiness about this, so let me clear it up. I was pregnant from 2009-2011. Yes we want more, in time so this year off was much appreciated!
2013 who knows what holds for us, but I'm determine to be healthier for myself and my children. Attending meetings on a more regular basis. I want to be more active with the kids outside of school. More crafts and lots of baking!
I'm excited to celebrate Marks and mines 3year wedding anniversary! 6 years in February we have been together! Hoping for many more years to come with him.
Looking forward to change but more so within, hoping to make better decisions for the family's better well being.
Goodbye 2012, HELLO 2013!!!
Friday, December 28, 2012
The End of a Stressful Year
I'm going to be so busy the next few days! 2013 I'm turning everything around. Going to face my anxiety and do all I can to try and get a handle on it. Going to loose these pesky 50lbs, include outside play for the kids at least once a week outside of school. Meal planning weekly instead of monthly. Getting our family studies in, and making all our meetings. I have a full plate, I let myself get over stressed and other people opinions guide my decision making with my kids. I'm not ashamed of having 4 children, and when the time is right we are going to have 1more.
Looking ahead is all I can do for rays next surgery, still haven't heard from his cardiologist on when his Heart Cath is going to be. I'm stressing over the last surgery not so much the Cath. He is doing great and I'm so blessed that we haven't had anything major happen with him. He has had considerable fatigue while walking up the stairs, thankfully iv talked to management and we can get into a downstairs unit. When I'm not sure hopefully before September, or more importantly before his surgery!
I was seriously considering homeschooling the big kids, but with a heavy heart I'm keeping them in public school due to their special needs. They have major struggles that I'm not sure I could keep up with, and I want them to have the best education possible. I love that tho they struggle they still have such a passion for learning! Wish I could get them to the zoo for a field trip day while they are on break but my van is broken AGAIN! Can't go far in fear it will stop running. Gotta love car troubles.
Resolutions/Goals, I'm trying to keep it simple but nothing about our family is simple! Lol tho mark is home off work at least 1 day a week he is normally gone 12 hours out of a day. That's a lot of responsibility on me to make sure that everything else is taken care of so he doesn't have to stress about to much! Easier said then done but I'm hoping to become more organized to help keep things run smoother over here!
Looking ahead is all I can do for rays next surgery, still haven't heard from his cardiologist on when his Heart Cath is going to be. I'm stressing over the last surgery not so much the Cath. He is doing great and I'm so blessed that we haven't had anything major happen with him. He has had considerable fatigue while walking up the stairs, thankfully iv talked to management and we can get into a downstairs unit. When I'm not sure hopefully before September, or more importantly before his surgery!
I was seriously considering homeschooling the big kids, but with a heavy heart I'm keeping them in public school due to their special needs. They have major struggles that I'm not sure I could keep up with, and I want them to have the best education possible. I love that tho they struggle they still have such a passion for learning! Wish I could get them to the zoo for a field trip day while they are on break but my van is broken AGAIN! Can't go far in fear it will stop running. Gotta love car troubles.
Resolutions/Goals, I'm trying to keep it simple but nothing about our family is simple! Lol tho mark is home off work at least 1 day a week he is normally gone 12 hours out of a day. That's a lot of responsibility on me to make sure that everything else is taken care of so he doesn't have to stress about to much! Easier said then done but I'm hoping to become more organized to help keep things run smoother over here!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
To Homeschool, or Not to Homeschool
My I have so much to think about. Rays 3rd surgery will be in a year or so. All depends on his heart but between the ages of 3/4 he will have his third surgery. During this time I need to think about Ebby and Kai's school attendance.
Yes I could drop them off at school, drop Wyatt off at a friends, then get to the hospital, that would put me there around 9:30ish, I would then have to leave no later then 12pm so I could pick up Wyatt to be back at the school by 1:30 to get the big kids. That's only 2 hours with my son all day and not sitting well with me.
I have a few options that I'm struggling with, 1-homeschool. Tho I don't have a problem doing it for some reason no one thinks is should do it but a handful of people. I mentioned it at a meeting at their school and the first thing said (principal wasn't there so I'm not offset to much from the response) can they just go to extended day? Your asking me to spend money for them to stay after school on top of the rediculous parking fees that I'm going to have to pay AND the twice a week gas I will be having to buy. (we live 30miles away 60 mile round trip) 2-they can stay in school and I won't be able to see ray until 4pm. Problem with that is my friend would be not only helping my kids with their homework but her own kids. I don't want to burden her with my children. And 3- I hear there is a program that the kids would go to school once a week and all work is done at home and then turned in. I like this idea because they still go to school but gives me the flexibility of going to see ray.
I know I'm thinking ahead, my mother says I'm Overanalizing it. I'm sure she would understand if she were in my position cuz I have to think of all the kids. And unfortunately I have to think about the what ifs..... :(
I'm leaning towards partial homeschooling, I'm confident that I can do it. It's not going to be long term unless I see a difference in the kids (for the better). They do need one on one help and I think this might do the trick.
Yes I could drop them off at school, drop Wyatt off at a friends, then get to the hospital, that would put me there around 9:30ish, I would then have to leave no later then 12pm so I could pick up Wyatt to be back at the school by 1:30 to get the big kids. That's only 2 hours with my son all day and not sitting well with me.
I have a few options that I'm struggling with, 1-homeschool. Tho I don't have a problem doing it for some reason no one thinks is should do it but a handful of people. I mentioned it at a meeting at their school and the first thing said (principal wasn't there so I'm not offset to much from the response) can they just go to extended day? Your asking me to spend money for them to stay after school on top of the rediculous parking fees that I'm going to have to pay AND the twice a week gas I will be having to buy. (we live 30miles away 60 mile round trip) 2-they can stay in school and I won't be able to see ray until 4pm. Problem with that is my friend would be not only helping my kids with their homework but her own kids. I don't want to burden her with my children. And 3- I hear there is a program that the kids would go to school once a week and all work is done at home and then turned in. I like this idea because they still go to school but gives me the flexibility of going to see ray.
I know I'm thinking ahead, my mother says I'm Overanalizing it. I'm sure she would understand if she were in my position cuz I have to think of all the kids. And unfortunately I have to think about the what ifs..... :(
I'm leaning towards partial homeschooling, I'm confident that I can do it. It's not going to be long term unless I see a difference in the kids (for the better). They do need one on one help and I think this might do the trick.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Overanalizing? Naw I'm a Heart Mom!
Well Raiden is 2!!! My lil man has been with us two wonderful years, and on his 1yr OHS his brother Wyatt was born! I am the proud mother of not 1, not 2, but four awesome kids. But if I were to be offered a reality show it would be called The Heartly Boys. Just saying lol. You would never guess there was anything wrong with mr ray.
With my big kids in school I'm realizing how much germy crap they bring home. 3months into the school year and my house has been plagued with the common cold, the flu, and the stomach flu! I know ray can't live in a bubble, but I will do my best to keep him from getting sick with anything more sevear then a cold! I feel blessed that he has only gotten colds and nothing worse.
I'm very worried for my Honey. His stress from work is beyond normal. If he isn't stressing about getting in trouble for doing the right thing he is stressing he's getting in trouble for loosening the reigns too much. I think his stress is making him sick, he needs a break where he can de-stress. Think I'v been stressing over his job a lot too :(
We might move either out of state so i can get a job, or move back into the "ghetto" to save some money. Thinking ghetto first then when ray has his last surgery move out of state. Time will tell.
I tried once a month cooking. We need another freezer. We need a different fridge. From what we have. Apartment size fridge isn't built to hold food for a family size of 6. This is from getting two weeks worth of food and the fridge being packed.
Battled ants few weeks ago. They were coming from underneath my front door, management said there was nothing they could do till the exterminator came out 4 days later. A bit of vinegar and baking soda stopped the ants at the front door. Well the stinkers then went after my patio, mopped it with vinegar and used the baking soda vinegar paste to clog up any holes they were coming from. Thought I was good, until I went to tuck Kai into bed and coming in threw his CLOSED window a trail of ants! My honey FINALY went and bought raid. I vinigared his window and wall. Vacuumed and re-sanitized his room. I haven't seen a ant since!
With my big kids in school I'm realizing how much germy crap they bring home. 3months into the school year and my house has been plagued with the common cold, the flu, and the stomach flu! I know ray can't live in a bubble, but I will do my best to keep him from getting sick with anything more sevear then a cold! I feel blessed that he has only gotten colds and nothing worse.
I'm very worried for my Honey. His stress from work is beyond normal. If he isn't stressing about getting in trouble for doing the right thing he is stressing he's getting in trouble for loosening the reigns too much. I think his stress is making him sick, he needs a break where he can de-stress. Think I'v been stressing over his job a lot too :(
We might move either out of state so i can get a job, or move back into the "ghetto" to save some money. Thinking ghetto first then when ray has his last surgery move out of state. Time will tell.
I tried once a month cooking. We need another freezer. We need a different fridge. From what we have. Apartment size fridge isn't built to hold food for a family size of 6. This is from getting two weeks worth of food and the fridge being packed.
Battled ants few weeks ago. They were coming from underneath my front door, management said there was nothing they could do till the exterminator came out 4 days later. A bit of vinegar and baking soda stopped the ants at the front door. Well the stinkers then went after my patio, mopped it with vinegar and used the baking soda vinegar paste to clog up any holes they were coming from. Thought I was good, until I went to tuck Kai into bed and coming in threw his CLOSED window a trail of ants! My honey FINALY went and bought raid. I vinigared his window and wall. Vacuumed and re-sanitized his room. I haven't seen a ant since!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
What To Say
It has been a rough month. My absence is proof of this. Thank god Raiden is doing well. My father on the other hand is not. I'm racking my brain on how I can get my family up to see him. I dont think he can travel anymore. Fearing the worst and I'm honestly freaking out.
The big kids "dad" moved back out. (can you see my eyes rolling??) I'm missing a fun zoo event today cuz I ave no gas, I think it's a lame reason but it's true.
On a bright side I have been killing it in the kitchen lately! I'm very proud of this seeing how I'm not the best cook, tho this past week proved that if I'm given the time I really do know how to cook! I'm going to try freezing half a months dinners. Planning on trying that out very soon. It will help make the dinner process go so much faster with getting the kids home by 2:20/2:30 then needing their snack, homework started by 3/3:15 done by 4:30.
So much on my plate....but I love it. So glad my babies are with me. Praying my honeys job stays good to him, he works so darn hard.
The big kids "dad" moved back out. (can you see my eyes rolling??) I'm missing a fun zoo event today cuz I ave no gas, I think it's a lame reason but it's true.
On a bright side I have been killing it in the kitchen lately! I'm very proud of this seeing how I'm not the best cook, tho this past week proved that if I'm given the time I really do know how to cook! I'm going to try freezing half a months dinners. Planning on trying that out very soon. It will help make the dinner process go so much faster with getting the kids home by 2:20/2:30 then needing their snack, homework started by 3/3:15 done by 4:30.
So much on my plate....but I love it. So glad my babies are with me. Praying my honeys job stays good to him, he works so darn hard.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
School Has Finally STARTED!
Well ebony and Kai are back in school! I am trying to get back into a good schedule but that is easier said then done lol. It is so nice that both of them are on the same schedule AND their classrooms are pretty much across from each other! Kai even has ebonys first grade teacher! I do believe this is going to be a fun year!
Raiden has been doing awesome, acting like the Hartley boy that he is. We were hoping that he would be off one of his meds but the drs are keeping him on them because it's better in the long run with his 3rd surgery not too far off. I can't believe he is going to be 2!!! We are so thankfully and blessed that we Are able to have this time with him. What's even crazier is that 7 days after ray turns 2 Wyatt turns 1! Lol rays birthday falls on a Thursday and that following thirsday is Wyatt's birthday!
Waking up at 4am and being up till 8pm is hard but I get a lot done.
Looking forward to fall and winter, 105 degree weather is just to stinkin hot.
Raiden has been doing awesome, acting like the Hartley boy that he is. We were hoping that he would be off one of his meds but the drs are keeping him on them because it's better in the long run with his 3rd surgery not too far off. I can't believe he is going to be 2!!! We are so thankfully and blessed that we Are able to have this time with him. What's even crazier is that 7 days after ray turns 2 Wyatt turns 1! Lol rays birthday falls on a Thursday and that following thirsday is Wyatt's birthday!
Waking up at 4am and being up till 8pm is hard but I get a lot done.
Looking forward to fall and winter, 105 degree weather is just to stinkin hot.
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