O M Gosh!!!

Huge change! I quit my job o.o

Its a huge chance and I'm excited about this. Mind you this is the first job that I have ever had that I was the one to quit. Sadly I have been fired, but for the most part I worked for a temp service so I worked until the job ended.

This is such a weird feeling. The upside is, I have a interview tomorrow night for a upgraded position from what I was already doing, and it is full time and comes with a pay increase. I AM PRAYING that I get this job. It will help our family soooooooo much. The idea that I can actually contribute and help out with bills is an awesome feeling. We are so tiered of just "getting" by.

Well that's our update for the weekend. Nothing new on the news front with ray. Wyatt is a tad more stubborn this morning then usual. Atticus is having a lot of fun playing with Maggie, which is hilarious because this 2 year old is playing with our huge Saint Bernard. I will have to get video of it, seriously the best thing ever.

Hope you all have had a wonderful weekend. *sigh* School starts back tomorrow! Back to the grind of taking the kids back and forth to school. Have a great week!

Hello 2016!!

Can I be more excited!? I think I can!

Wasn't able to stay up till midnight but I did stay up with all the kids till they passed out, which was fun. They all were so excited about the New Year, its so fun when you have kids, they make it so much more fun!
So my first Thankful moment/status/what have you is this, I am sooooo thankful that today January 1, 2016 I woke up to the beautiful face that is Raidens'. We have come such a long way as a family with him. He still has a surgery to go for his left aortic valve, but hopefully after that he wont have anymore .
I am going to be realistic about my post! A post a week seems good, not realistic to try everyday. To many kids and responsibilities to try everyday.
2016 is going to have some big changes for us! No there are no more babies for us, or Maggie lol but hopefully a wonderful upgrade on my job situation and who knows maybe even my Honeys.
I hope everyone was safe last night, so many irresponsible drivers out due to the holiday.

Have a wonderful day and a awesome first week of 2016.

2015

Well this year kinda sucked. We have had a lot of ups and downs. So 2016 I'm ready for you. Going to cook more, play more with the kids, and try and be a better wife.
Raiden isn't done with surgeries, that has my stress way up, but on a high note overall he is doing well. We are fighting the flu, fortunately the hubby hasn't caught it.
We moved to a smaller place, hard fitting 4bed with a garages worth of stuff in a 3bed.

Hello 2014!!

My gracious I haven't updated in such a long time! Goal, to update at least once a month.
So we have a new addition to the family! Atticus Troy! 8lbs 12oz my biggest baby, and last! lol Its amazing that I now have 5 kids! Im so thankful that he is heart healthy and has no issues what so ever! He sleeps great at night too!
Now on to Raiden... He just went in for a cath to see if he was ready for his Fontan. Sadly he isn't, his tricuspid valve that was fixed this past july still is leaking to much for the next stage. So he needs a new med and another upped. Its so hard not knowing if he is ok, or if whats happening to him is normal. Upside he has a lot of energy. He is running and playing like there isn't anything wrong with him. We are so blessed to have him.
Looking forward to this year, working out, eating healthy, and loving my family as much as I can!

i feel horrible over a month!

Ray has been doing ok. His heart cath was scheduled for May 20th (my birthday), but he caught a cold so it was pushed to the 29th. well they wanted his lungs enough time to get the cold bug so they then rescheduled it to the 24th of this month. And guess who has a cold!! AGAIN! Kai threw up in his sleep and his apsrm donor could care less and says no one was sick around him this past weekend. sigh its just to much, ebby and kai are supposed to go to my folks but i dont know if he will be well enough.

May 2013

After months of no internet, iv finally figured out how to use my blogg on my phone. 

Raiden has been doing great. We did have to take him to the ER end of march for him tho. He just started throwing up and was doing so off and on from 4pm untill 7:30pm. They ran tons of test and thankfully he was ok no viruses/bacterial infection found, but im betting a stomach bug from school came home. Mark and I caught what he had just two days later. 

We are waiting to move downstairs, ray has been having more breathless walks up the stairs. Due to renovations at the apartment complex we dont know when this is going to happen. 

Ray is scheduled for May 20th for his heart cath, coinsodentaly my birthday as well. Looking forward to it but sxared as well, emotions from his Glenn keep pouring back.

Ebony and Kai are on their last month of school, just 30 days left. 

Things are moving right along in our family, looking forward to this summer to be over.

Croup and the Flu

It is another wonderful flu season. Little did I know that I would also be on the watch for Croup. Thankfully my oldest two "biological" father had enough sense not to take them knowing that his niece had croup. From the research that I did, potentialy fatal to infants and heart patents....the other two kiddos in my house! The Flu season is also in full swing, and I'm tankful that the kids haven't gotten what's going around right now. They did have the flue some months back. Praying that they don't bring any sickness home with them.
It amazes me that parents will send their kids to school knowing that they just threw up or have had a fever for days. That they are contagious but would rather spend their day to themselfs. I understand that working parents and even single parents are put in a tight spot by a unexpected sick child. Believe me I GET IT. I was there once before and got let go cuz my kids kept getting sick from their day care. PLEASE DO NOT BRING YOUR SICK KIDS TO SCHOOL! I'm saying this for the families that are single parents that have to work, I'm saying this TO the mom who gets to stay at home and go out without any little people running in tow. I'm saying this FOR the families that have more then 2 kids, the families with disabled children of any age. KEEP YOUR SICK KIDS HOME.  It's a burden on EVERYONE to have to take care of sick children, managing your job, and your "free time" lol I don't know what free time is but I know there are tons of you that do. I get that but if we all make the effort to teach our kids to wash their hands, sneeze in their coat sleeve not their hands, just saying, maybe we could cut down the bugs and germs. I'd also like to say to the schools, SANITIZE!! I know they don't clean off the kids desks at the end of the day, the door handles or the bathrooms correctly. All schools need to be bleached at the end of the day...again just saying lol
Read a post on FB last night that a 5year old HLHS child lost his battle. I'm feeling better now, but it made me cry. It's horrible to hear that a baby lost their life to something they were born with, also it makes me realize that we don't know how much time we have with Raiden. I was in such a funk yesterday.
Last week flew by! Finally got to go in to see the specialist for Wyatt's eye! He has a bacterial infection in his left eye that's lasted 5 stinkin months! I have ointment and drops for his eye. Dr said its a 6 week treatment!! Hopefully it will clear his eye up and stop the infection!
Hoping for a good week, but it's looking dim.

Hello 2013!

Resolutions, no I'm not doing resolutions. I am however going to be healthier for my kids, I'm going to teach them to be healthy too. I'm going to do a family project with the kids once a month. I'm going to be a better mom, more attentive to their needs, more organized.
I must learn to wrangle my anxioty, people probly think I can't handle the kids. It's the world I can't handle, I can't stand leaving the house with all the kids alone. Not because I'm ashamed of my kids but of the fear that something might happen. Yes I know that anything can happen at anytime, but I'm learning to deal.
Anxioty is not fun, I over think everything, and when it comes to ray I'm crying once a week because I'm looking at old pictures of him and thinking of his upcoming surgery, I have to stop doing that. I'm trying to live in the moment. I'm loving every minute that I have with my kids, and with my husband.
So far iv gotten Wyatt to nurse at night only, and he is down to twice a night, very excited about that. Ray sleeps all night in his toddler bed, yes in our room but in HIS bed!!
Trying to stay strong for my dad, this last trip they were down really got to me. He is fading fast. I HATE that he has not only parkensins but also cancer. WHY did HE have to get sick? It runs in his family, but still. This past week the big kids stayed with them in the hotel. I'm glad that they know him and love him the way that they do. I hope that I'm strong enough to help them threw the rough times ahead.
2013 please be kind...

Goodbye 2012

I'm happy that we were able to spend another year with our ray. Tho in November we got the news of  his artery narrowing. We have yet to get the call back for his heart cath appointment, but until then ray has been good.
The happiest news of all, iv been 2012 free of pregnancy. I understand many may not understand our happiness about this, so let me clear it up. I was pregnant from 2009-2011. Yes we want more, in time so this year off was much appreciated!
2013 who knows what holds for us, but I'm determine to be healthier for myself and my children. Attending meetings on a more regular basis. I want to be more active with the kids outside of school. More crafts and lots of baking!
I'm excited to celebrate Marks and mines 3year wedding anniversary! 6 years in February we have been together! Hoping for many more years to come with him.
Looking forward to change but more so within, hoping to make better decisions for the family's better well being.
Goodbye 2012, HELLO 2013!!!

The End of a Stressful Year

I'm going to be so busy the next few days! 2013 I'm turning everything around. Going to face my anxiety and do all I can to try and get a handle on it. Going to loose these pesky 50lbs, include outside play for the kids at least once a week outside of school. Meal planning weekly instead of monthly. Getting our family studies in, and making all our meetings. I have a full plate, I let myself get over stressed and other people opinions guide my decision making with my kids. I'm not ashamed of having 4 children, and when the time is right we are going to have 1more.

Looking ahead is all I can do for rays next surgery, still haven't heard from his cardiologist on when his Heart Cath is going to be. I'm stressing over the last surgery not so much the Cath. He is doing great and I'm so blessed that we haven't had anything major happen with him. He has had considerable fatigue while walking up the stairs, thankfully iv talked to management and we can get into a downstairs unit. When I'm not sure hopefully before September, or more importantly before his surgery!

I was seriously considering homeschooling the big kids, but with a heavy heart I'm keeping them in public school due to their special needs. They have major struggles that I'm not sure I could keep up with, and I want them to have the best education possible. I love that tho they struggle they still have such a passion for learning! Wish I could get them to the zoo for a field trip day while they are on break but my van is broken AGAIN! Can't go far in fear it will stop running. Gotta love car troubles.

Resolutions/Goals, I'm trying to keep it simple but nothing about our family is simple! Lol tho mark is home off work at least 1 day a week he is normally gone 12 hours out of a day. That's a lot of responsibility on me to make sure that everything else is taken care of so he doesn't have to stress about to much! Easier said then done but I'm hoping to become more organized to help keep things run smoother over here!

To Homeschool, or Not to Homeschool

My I have so much to think about. Rays 3rd surgery will be in a year or so. All depends on his heart but between the ages of 3/4 he will have his third surgery. During this time I need to think about Ebby and Kai's school attendance.
Yes I could drop them off at school, drop Wyatt off at a friends, then get to the hospital, that would put me there around 9:30ish, I would then have to leave no later then 12pm so I could pick up Wyatt to be back at the school by 1:30 to get the big kids. That's only 2 hours with my son all day and not sitting well with me.
I have a few options that I'm struggling with, 1-homeschool. Tho I don't have a problem doing it for some reason no one thinks is should do it but a handful of people. I mentioned it at a meeting at their school and the first thing said (principal wasn't there so I'm not offset to much from the response) can they just go to extended day? Your asking me to spend money for them to stay after school on top of the rediculous parking fees that I'm going to have to pay AND the twice a week gas I will be having to buy. (we live 30miles away 60 mile round trip) 2-they can stay in school and I won't be able to see ray until 4pm. Problem with that is my friend would be not only helping my kids with their homework but her own kids. I don't want to burden her with my children. And 3- I hear there is a program that the kids would go to school once a week and all work is done at home and then turned in. I like this idea because they still go to school but gives me the flexibility of going to see ray.
I know I'm thinking ahead, my mother says I'm Overanalizing it. I'm sure she would understand if she were in my position cuz I have to think of all the kids. And unfortunately I have to think about the what ifs.....   :(
I'm leaning towards partial homeschooling, I'm confident that I can do it. It's not going to be long term unless I see a difference in the kids (for the better). They do need one on one help and I think this might do the trick.

Overanalizing? Naw I'm a Heart Mom!

Well Raiden is 2!!! My lil man has been with us two wonderful years, and on his 1yr OHS his brother Wyatt was born! I am the proud mother of not 1, not 2, but four awesome kids. But if I were to be offered a reality show it would be called The Heartly Boys. Just saying lol. You would never guess there was anything wrong with mr ray.
With my big kids in school I'm realizing how much germy crap they bring home. 3months into the school year and my house has been plagued with the common cold, the flu, and the stomach flu! I know ray can't live in a bubble, but I will do my best to keep him from getting sick with anything more sevear then a cold! I feel blessed that he has only gotten colds and nothing worse.
I'm very worried for my Honey. His stress from work is beyond normal. If he isn't stressing about getting in trouble for doing the right thing he is stressing he's getting in trouble for loosening the reigns too much. I think his stress is making him sick, he needs a break where he can de-stress. Think I'v been stressing over his job a lot too :(
We might move either out of state so i can get a job, or move back into the "ghetto" to save some money. Thinking ghetto first then when ray has his last surgery move out of state. Time will tell.
I tried once a month cooking. We need another freezer. We need a different fridge. From what we have. Apartment size fridge isn't built to hold food for a family size of 6. This is from getting two weeks worth of food and the fridge being packed.
Battled ants few weeks ago. They were coming from underneath my front door, management said there was nothing they could do till the exterminator came out 4 days later. A bit of vinegar and baking soda stopped the ants at the front door. Well the stinkers then went after my patio, mopped it with vinegar and used the baking soda vinegar paste to clog up any holes they were coming from. Thought I was good, until I went to tuck Kai into bed and coming in threw his CLOSED window a trail of ants! My honey FINALY went and bought raid. I vinigared his window and wall. Vacuumed and re-sanitized his room. I haven't seen a ant since!

What To Say

It has been a rough month. My absence is proof of this. Thank god Raiden is doing well. My father on the other hand is not. I'm racking my brain on how I can get my family up to see him. I dont think he can travel anymore. Fearing the worst and I'm honestly freaking out.
The big kids "dad" moved back out. (can you see my eyes rolling??) I'm missing a fun zoo event today cuz I ave no gas, I think it's a lame reason but it's true.
On a bright side I have been killing it in the kitchen lately! I'm very proud of this seeing how I'm not the best cook, tho this past week proved that if I'm given the time I really do know how to cook! I'm going to try freezing half a months dinners. Planning on trying that out very soon. It will help make the dinner process go so much faster with getting the kids home by 2:20/2:30 then needing their snack, homework started by 3/3:15 done by 4:30.
So much on my plate....but I love it. So glad my babies are with me. Praying my honeys job stays good to him, he works so darn hard.

School Has Finally STARTED!

Well ebony and Kai are back in school! I am trying to get back into a good schedule but that is easier said then done lol. It is so nice that both of them are on the same schedule AND their classrooms are pretty much across from each other! Kai even has ebonys first grade teacher! I do believe this is going to be a fun year!
Raiden has been doing awesome, acting like the Hartley boy that he is. We were hoping that he would be off one of his meds but the drs are keeping him on them because it's better in the long run with his 3rd surgery not too far off. I can't believe he is going to be 2!!! We are so thankfully and blessed that we Are able to have this time with him. What's even crazier is that 7 days after ray turns 2 Wyatt turns 1! Lol rays birthday falls on a Thursday and that following thirsday is Wyatt's birthday!
Waking up at 4am and being up till 8pm is hard but I get a lot done.
Looking forward to fall and winter, 105 degree weather is just to stinkin hot.

Stressed out momma

Man I have been busy! Where do i start? Raiden's medicine Delima.... June 28th I called in and ordered rays blood pressure medicine. He had 5 days left on it so I thought I was safe next day airing it. Boy was I WRONG. July 1st I called checking on the status, the recording said that the rx had expired and they were waiting to hear from the dr. "ok, call the cardi" I thought, this is no biggie. Again I was WRONG. They did send his meds out, but to the pharmacy down the street, not the specialty pharmacy that it needed to be sent to. It is now the 3rd of July and finally I get word that his meds are being processed. I'm stressing by this point cuz he just finished his bottle of meds. The 4th comes and goes and is now the 5th, 7whole days later! I call the pharmacy again trying to see if the meds were shopped. "the prescription on file is expired. Please call your dr to have it updated." WTH!?! I did that on Tuesday! It was confirmed to be there. Again I call the dr and the pharmacy. Again I'm told it processing. IT'S NOW FRIDAY!! I still don't have his meds and iv gotten two phone calls about his other medicines that I have plenty of. I'm bawling my eyes out by this point, I'm on the phone crying to the cardi office, I'm crying and bitching out the pharmacy. Saturday morning at 8:30am his medicine is finally dropped off. At 9:04am I get a phone call from the pharmacy saying his rx was on hold due to an expired prescription....what the world they just dropped it off?! That was just one week. I missed the district convention due to no money for gas. Haven't left my house but to go to target to get ray his milk.....I'm going out of my mind. Lst wednesday ray and Wyatt had a appointment with their cardi. Unbenost to us, there were o2 sensors put in the apartment. (6 months ago I asked about the, putting them in and I was told it was my responsibility.mi went out and bought a good one from Costco. See where I'm going here??!) Tuesday I decided to re arrange the apartment, well more like starting the demo process, the house was a mess Wednesday. Had I known that management was going to come in I would have just cleaned up so they could come in and be gone,mthen start rearranging things. Well I didn't know and they came into my filthy house...yes I said filthy I tore my place up. Making piles of clothes for give away donation and laundry. Friday I see we have a notice on our door, it stated due to the excessive clutter In our apartment they couldn't do their inspection. Wait what inspection!??! There WAS NO NOTICE INFORMING US ABOUT A INSPECTION. Now these people think I'm filthy and can't take care of my kids. Yes, my house was messy when they got there. No they didn't tell me they were coming and I made it worse! FYI my house is imaculate now. Not because management is coming in today, but because that was my plan the whole time! You can't renovate a house with out the demo process, I had to pull old clothes, toys, and furniture out to throw away. I re organized every bedroom, closet and dresser drawer. I did ALL THIS ALONE WITH 4 KIDS IN THE HOUSE 2 ARE UNDER THE AGE OF TWO WHOM DEMAND MY ATTENTION. I'm tiered of people thinking I'm lazy, I'm tiered of people thinking my life is easy. I put on a happy face, but I'm stressful mess on the inside. If it wasn't for mark and the handful of friends that I have I may have lost it a long long time ago. As of today I'm good tho. My house is clean, grocery shopping tonight with my honey and kids. A camping trip is planned for next week and by George I can't wait to go! I may complain about how tiered I am or how stressed out I am, but I WOULD NEVER TRADE IT. I LOVE being a heart mom, I LOVE being a MOM!

Summer Blues

Summer should be fun and exciting. This summer started off that way and now is just plain boring. Keeping raiden and Wyatt out of the heat is nice (health wise) but its boring. Being poor this time a year stinks can't travel with the kids, go to amusement parks, barely can drive down the hill to a friends house. I'm trying to make the most of it. The big kids are visiting my folks in Washington. Most people think that's giving me a break. They are sadly mistaken. It's quiet in my house and all I have time to do is feed the boys play with the boys get them to take their nap and start all over again. At least with the kids home they could play with the babies while I cleaned the kitchen. I CAN'T WAIT for them to get back!!

How Time flies!

I can't believe it's been 7 months since Wyatt came into this world, and raiden is 19 months old!! The kids are now out of school and I can work on raiden and Wyatt's nap schedule! Looking forward to this summer with the kids. Wish I could get ray and Wyatt in swim lessons, but with marks schedule that's gonna be hard. Glad ray has been doing so well. Next month is his cardiologist appointment. Praying that he gets to be taken off one of his meds. I'm so thankfully that he is as healthy as can be for his condition, I love how much energy he has. That energy also scares me tho. He loves running around with his brothers and sister. Can't wait to see what our future holds for our family :)

Toy Box Delima

Gotta love kids. Kai and I had a date night, we went to go see the Avengers. We were both soooo excited about seeing the movie. We got popcorn, gummie bears, and shared a fruit punch. Twenty minutes into the movie, my sweet boy grabbed my hand and said he was ready to go. GO?!?! We just got here! They movie just started! Sigh we got up and left. I should have known better, tho Kai loves those movies he cant stand loud noises, let alone a loud movie. Guess I got a sneak peak of the first 20 minutes and I will just have to wait for it to come out on DVD lol Raiden raiden raiden.....the toy box is for putting our toys in. Not climbing on top of and then falling backwards onto your head. Really scariest at home moment that iv ever had with him. Thank goodness he is ok and only got a slight headache. This boy never stops! Mark took him to the park with his brother and sister and I thought for sure they would be gone 1 hour but they were back home within twenty minutes lol I won't even get started about my van or "mothers day". Just can't seem to catch a break. Hope things calm down I'm tierd of being stressed out, and given a guilt trip for trying to do something fun for my family. Just because we don't have much doesNt mean we can't have fun with our kids....

Spring Break

What is wrong with me?!? It's been way to long since my last post. A week after raidens cardi appointment he had an allergic reaction to something...what I'm not sure (at that time anyways). I rushed him to the pediatrician and she didnt know either. She gave him an allergies medicine and of course they sent it to a pharmacy 30minutes away from our house when we told them to send it to the one 5minutes from our house. By the time that was found out it was to late to pic up his meds. Thank goodness by that time the swelling in his lip had gone away. 3 days later it happened agan!! This time his whole bottom lip was swollen. I gave him the allergies medicine and by the hours end it was gone.
Then it hit me. He ate gold fish crackers all 3times that the reactions had happened. Raiden is allergic to gold fish crackers. I googled it And he isn't the only one. There is MSG in them and also powdered milk. My poor son, but I'm glad I figured it out. This was 3 weeks ago..since then there has been no outbreaks and I threw out all the goldfish. Hopefully my buying organic snacks for him and the kids will work out better. Trying to eat and cook healthy snacks for myself and the kids.
Wyatt my fatty is 14lbs!! He is so big! He's 5months has said dada already and is almost sitting up by himself. These kids are just getting so big!

Thank you lord!!

At raidens last cardi appointment he was taken off his lasix. He weighed 23pounds! He is now wearing 18month cloths comfortably, and sleeping all night! He has been walking since he was 13months old and talking!
All of this is so amazing to me since his assessment with the "brain" specialist said he was going to be so behind!! I think I'm going to try and see if he might wanna try potty training! If he takes to it he will be the youngest of my kiddos to be potty trained. Whoever said that heart kids are delayed or slow is an idiot! Raiden has surpassed his older brother in many stepping stones and Kai is heart healthy!
My family is sooooo awesome!